What I'm Playing (Volume 42): Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon

Seeing as I enjoyed Fire Emblem: Awakening so much, I went back through and revisited the only Fire Emblem game which I own, but haven't beaten, Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon for the DS. The prices are absolutely NUTS on the Gamecube and Wii titles, so I'll probably wait a few years to grab them, and focus on getting the more affordable 3DS titles for now.

Back in the day, I bought this game and didn't really care for it for one main reason: the visuals. Rather than the incredibly charming and gorgeous hand drawn sprite animation from the GBA games, the DS game shifts towards an absolutely soulless and drab quasi-3D look that infuriates me every time I play it.

DS version. I tried to find the "coolest" looking example I could, and it's still gross.

This may be the most beautiful game ever made when considering pound for pound power of a console.

Anyway, the point is obviously made by the two screenshots here. Fire Emblem's GBA entries absolutely blow the DS games out of the water, and there's precisely 0 reason why. They had old sprite animations that they could have easily reused, making new animations only for heroes, new classes, and new weapons. Think of Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones, which merely polishes up existing spritework to delightful effect. There's also no reason why the DS can't handle this type of animation. I'd be happy if they made Fire Emblem games on the same engine til the end of time, but Fire Emblem: Awakening at least has its own visual charm and identity (despite looking unambiguously worse than the GBA titles), which the DS game very clearly lacks. Keep in mind this fact as well: the DS title looks even worse in motion than it does in stills, which makes the above comparison mind-numbing, because the GBA titles look way better in motion than in stills.

So, knowing that my opinions of the visuals weren't going to change, I did what any sensible person would do. I played a few levels with animation, and after cleaning out my vomit bowl, I turned the animations off and enjoyed the game much more, although that's certainly a relative benchmark.

So what is Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon? The game is a remake of the very first Fire Emblem game for the Famicom, which was never released in America. It is thus the most intriguing and defensible of all variety of remakes (and I'm a sucker for remakes), the kind that was never released in a region, and had great ideas that were super rough and greatly improved on in its successors. The idea is great, therefore, to give Fire Emblem fans in America the chance to enjoy the first game in the series, featuring it's most famous protagonist, Marth (who most people know from Super Smash Bros. Melee, aka the greatest game of all time), with a fresh coat of paint for modern audiences.

As remakes go, it fails on most counts. Somehow the visuals are even worse on the DS than they were on the Famicom. Keep in mind that this was released almost 30 years afterwards.

Ooooohhhh, pretty.

These are seriously some of the best 8 bit graphics ever, so whatever. The game also looks worse than Mega Man through Mega Man 6, Castlevania, Little Samson, DuckTales, Super Mario Bros 3, and a host of NES/Famicom games, so it's not necessarily a horrible thing. But if you're going to remake a game, just keep the original graphics unless you're improving them!

They do clean up some of the imbalances in the game, apparently (note, I've never played the Famicom game). New and welcome introductions include the weapon triangle, the rock-paper-scissors relationship between the different kinds of weapons that informs a huge amount of the strategy in the game, a nice new prologue that fleshes out the story a bit more, and the ability to see how far enemies will move and attack for planning purposes.

One new addition which is awful is the not optional "save points" in the middle of levels, which encourage reckless play over good strategy. This allows you to save at difficulty points in the level, and just keep redoing it over and over again until RNG goes your way, or use it to experiment with high risk, high reward strategies. You can also use it to abuse RNG to ensure that you get good level ups for your characters, as stat increases are probabilistic after each level.

Other than that, it's  fairly standard, if hideous, Fire Emblem game, and that means that the core gameplay is mostly enjoyable. The music is really excellent, which has never really been Fire Emblem's strong point. The game's length is good, taking probably 15 hours or so to complete. The story is fairly good, and really impressive when you consider that it's more or less intact from a Famicom game released 30 years prior. The one area story wise in which the game really struggles is in peripheral character development. The story is basically told purely through the eyes of Marth, the hero, and it lacks even a single other interesting character throughout. One of the charms of the later games, and especially Fire Emblem: Awakening, is the charming cast of smaller characters who you get to know throughout your journey, and this is completely lacking here. Given that this would have been a very difficulty challenge to faithfully adapt from the original, though, I'll mostly give it a pass.

It's got most of the strategy you enjoy, although it's a bit clumsily done, and misses out on some of the modern advances that would have been nice additions to the game. For example, part of the appeal of the weapon triangle is that each class is useful in certain situations, and struggles in others. In a well balanced game, this is true, but not in the DS game. Early in the game, you'll face tons of axe characters, which makes it necessary to utilize your sword wielders. However, about a third of the game in, axe characters nearly disappear from the game, making it extremely challenging to continue to level up your sword wielders, including your primary sword wielding hero! At the end of the game, weapons are almost nonexistent, and almost all remaining weapon wielders have lances, so you'll have to go with heroes that can tangle with mages or lances.

Another example is the lack of branching class development, included for the first time (to my knowledge) in Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones. This made it possible to select from two promotional classes upon using the promotion item, rather than just one. This increased your flexibility in building a team, and I'm not really sure why it didn't make the jump here.

If you love Fire Emblem, I'd recommend this game, with animations off and expectations tempered. If you don't know anything about Fire Emblem, go play the positively delightful Fire Emblem on GBA, or Fire Emblem: Awakening on 3DS. If you know you don't like Fire Emblem, avoid this one at all costs. I'll give it 7.0/10.

Up next on the handheld side is a thorn in my side for decades that I plan on crushing! Here's a quick and cryptic hint.

-TRO

Song of the Day (Volume 34): Smooth Operator

So smooth.

-TRO

Song of the Day (Volume 33): Can't Fight this Feeling

Up there with "I'll Be Watching You", this is the creepy stalker's anthem, but so catchy!

-TRO

Good Christian Fun

One of my more recent guilty pleasures is listening to the podcast Good Christian Fun (I'm not sure if you should italicize podcast titles, so I'll err on the side of caution). Featuring regular hosts Kevin T. Porter and Caroline Ely, along with a rotating cast of guest stars, GCF takes us on a weekly trip down the always weird and sometimes wonderful world of Christian pop culture.

Each week features a separate musical album, movie, or TV show that is explicitly Christian in nature, introduces the topic, and then talks about it for 45 minutes or so. The hook of the show is excellent, as it's nice fodder for people like me, who have a nostalgic attachment to some of the content, having grown up in the church, but would also likely be fascinating for those outside, who nonetheless will find the existence of such an extensive selection of pop culture from a completely separate culture of interest.

Kevin and Caroline are genuinely very funny people, with Kevin being a professional comedian, and Caroline just being naturally funny (I suppose now that she's podcasting, she can be considered a professional comedian as well, but she does have a day job). Each episode is filled with many laughs, and I find myself loving many of their running gags that have developed over the show's history. Some of my favorites are introducing each guest while Amy Grant's "Sing Your Praise to the Lord" plays in the background, having Hilary Clinton ask listeners to "Pokemon Go to the polls" for their weekly audience polls, and playing a tiny excerpt of Steven Curtis Chapman's "Dive" when they are getting ready to discuss their weekly topic. There are probably ten of these that will feel like hilarious old friends every time, and it's a sign of their good comedic sense that these are so well crafted.

The episodes tend to go as the guest host does, with some being better than others. None have been horrible to date, but some have been notably hilarious, so it's nice to get to see Kevin and Caroline play off another person each week.

Since it's improvised comedy for an hour and a half or so, there are plenty of jokes that fall flat, sort of like watching a dry run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. But on the whole, the show thrives despite the challenging format, showing the talents of the hosts.

My complaints about the show are few and far between, but the primary one that comes up over and over again is the tremendous degree to which the hosts have adopted a rather extreme form of social justice ideology or "woke" culture to analyze the works each week. This isn't the same as saying that the hosts completely ignore the artistic merits (or lack thereof) of the films, music, or TV shows that they discuss on the program, but it does seem like their planet never orbits far from the sun of social justice.

To be clear, I'm actually fairly sympathetic to social justice culture, and think that it's generally pretty valuable. I think that social justice type of people generally provide an important check upon individuals by making us ask questions about how what we say and do (or don't say or do) impacts others, particularly those who don't look like us or have remarkably different values than us. My main problem with some social justice kind of people are when they embrace their views as some kind of identity, and that the core of that identity seems to feature 1) an ever expanding checklist of words that they should not say and 2) a kind of prideful and uncritical humility in the damage that they have done in their lives, as exemplified by the most tepid and milquetoast kind of offenses.

For example, I went through a great deal of effort to transcribe an extended section from their most recent episode, feature Kevin, Caroline, and guest host Alice Wetterlund.

KTP: Yeah, we’re all woke baes.

AW: Woke bae is problematic, though. Probably for, you haven’t heard anything…

KTP: Is that true?

AW:  Yeah apparently, and I’m not shaking my head at this because…

KTP: Oh no…

AW: I disagree, I’m shaking my head because it’s a shame how much I’ve said it.

KTP: To me! We’ve said it to each other!

AW: Yeah, and now I’m helping you out with this knowledge that this is not. It’s just not great. Because people have overused it too much, and I’m not going to be able to articulate exactly why, but it has served now as an excuse, an umbrella, like “I’m fine, because I say this!”, and like a lot of people refer to themselves tongue in cheek in that way, which we do, you know. But I think that publicly, in a public setting like a podcast, I think that it’s grating for some people.

KTP: Well, then let me bury the term with the following. I’m going to do an impression, and you tell me who it is. “Only you, can prevent racism, sexism, and homophobia.”

CE: Uhhh….

KTP: It’s Wokey the Bear.

AW: That’s a perfect end to it. And that ends it…There’ll be new terms, don’t worry. Don’t worry, we have to learn so many new terms. And that’s part of it.

CE: I’m glad it was an appropriation problem.

AW: Me too. RIP woke bae.

KTP: I apologize to anyone I offended.

AW: Hey, but this is what’s cool about you. And I really appreciate is that we all, as white people…we need to be able to understand that we’re going to make mistakes in our effort to be more aware, and to learn how we can be more helpful and better people. And it’s like we’re going to make mistakes in that journey if we’re open to participating, it’s just not going to be perfect. So, you know, the ability to go, oh, that’s not cool with people? I’d rather stop saying it, and I’m sorry, moving on, instead of arguing why it’s ok because you feel guilty.

CE: And I think a central part of being white is being very clunky and awkward with any other culture.

KTP: And that’s usually the worst price we pay.

AW: Ain’t that the truth? Can I say ain’t?

CE: Oh Jesus, we’re bad.

This, to me, is social justice at its least helpful, when it focuses on these myopic and vaguely defined threats to no one who can be identified, and its adherents cave into groveling apology almost immediately. Kevin, with a history of referring to Alice as his "woke bae", apparently some kind of kindred spirit in social justice beliefs, uses the term. Up until now, he was of the opinion that both of them enjoyed using the term. He is then told that the term is now "problematic" (a favorite word of the show), for reasons that Alice explains she can't articulate. Caroline is then "glad it was an appropriation problem", whatever that means. Kevin then immediately caves, despite this extremely vacuous explanation, apologizes to everyone he's offended (we're still not sure who this group is), and cracks a pretty stupid joke.  Alice then proceeds to congratulate Kevin on his virtuous flight from this vaguely offensive term, they all denigrate themselves for being white, and move on with the show.

I'm just not sure who is supposed to be offended by the admittedly grammatically incomprehensible term "woke bae", and I'm fairly certain that none of the hosts do either. It actually makes me wonder if some troll on the internet began a movement that he was offended at the term "woke bae", and it was uncritically accepted by at least some sad saps. But even if it doesn't, it's a little troubling to me that the identity of the hosts are so fully built up around this frequently useful ideology that they find themselves seemingly unable to provide any sort of critical examination of whether or not the term is problematic, why it is, who's offended, and for what reasons. 

So anyway, I really wish that they would take some time to critically examine their ideology, apply it where useful, but mostly stick to their strengths. These social justice segments of the show, which probably take up a solid 1/3 of the actual criticism of the works they review, come across as poorly thought out and self-imposed guilt that doesn't actually come from any sense of real guilt or shame, but rather a rote parroting of a set of beliefs that work more like a painting in that it never moves when you look at it, and less like glasses that help you see things more accurately.

I'd recommend that you check it out, and wonder if anyone else out their finds these silly social justice ramblings as tiresome as I do.

-TRO

Song of the Day (Volume 32): Ride On

It's been getting a little dour around reTROview lately, so let's take the tone back up! Ride on!

-TRO

R.I.P. Warrel Dane

Warrel Dane died today, and few people probably care. I count myself among the lucky few who was aware of his wonderful career, and listened to his music with joy mingled with the sadness and tragedy of his morbidly stirring lyrics.

Dane is best known as the vocalist and lyricist for the sublime progressive metal band (although good luck putting them in a single genre) Nevermore. From 1995 to 2010, the dynamic duo of Dane and guitar god Jeff Loomis put together one of the most impressive fifteen year runs in metal history, with 8 studio albums and 1 E.P., all of supremely high quality. It's hard to pick highlights from this band, but their best records are probably Dead Heart in a Dead World (2000), This Godless Endeavor (2005), and my personal favorite (despite its rough production values) The Politics of Ecstasy.

Dane was the perfect mix of a vocalist with supreme vocal talent, being trained as an opera singer, excellent lyrical output, and the ability to emote in a wide spectrum with his voice. Whether the songs were good or bad, Dane's vocals were almost always captivating in some way or another. And more of the songs were good than bad, including some of the shining stars of late '90s to 2000s metal.

I saw Dane with Nevermore in 2010, right before their breakup. He did not look well, although considering how poorly he looked, the band sounded excellent. He seemed short of breath repeatedly, having to take an inhaler at several points throughout the show, but managed to put on a great show for the fans. His death of a heart attack is thus saddening to me, but not surprising, given some of the other rumors of his hard living ways. 

We will miss him, but are fortunate to have an enormous back catalogue of his work to enjoy, and I plan to do so over the next few days in mourning of a life artistically well spent. Here are a few highlights from his career, so that you can join me in this joyous mourning. R.I.P. Warrel.


With Nevermore
The Politics of Ecstasy
Dreaming Neon Black
The River Dragon Has Come
Dead Heart in a Dead World 
Seed Awakening 
Born
Final Product
Sell My Heart for Stones
A Future Uncertain
This Godless Endeavor
She Comes in Colors

Solo
Let You Down
Your Chosen Misery
Equilibrium

-TRO

Fake Onion Headlines (Volume 3)

"Good boy!" Still Doing it for Fido after All These Years

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